Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
