I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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