this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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