I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
