She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Enjoy the penises
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
