thus making me awesome and them whores
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
