i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
