I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Who died my cat blue again?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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