woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
