So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
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guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
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I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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