OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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