Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize