dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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