Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
