Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.

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  (678): apparently farting at a cop is considered assault. http://tfl.nu/4f0p
  Replies (24) Good night (1683) Bad night (3987)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Take that integrity

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  (216): So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever. (1-216): Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment. (216): Take that integrity http://tfl.nu/eyzw
  Replies (48) Good night (3188) Bad night (806)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.

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  (586): You do realize it's a Tuesday, right? (1-586): You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life. http://tfl.nu/em8w
  Replies (22) Good night (8077) Bad night (914)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.

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  (585): Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either. http://tfl.nu/3i4x
  Replies (12) Good night (7971) Bad night (1023)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.

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  (920): So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again. http://tfl.nu/54yy
  Replies (18) Good night (2113) Bad night (6425)
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  (646): View more from New York

  congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism

  (917): View more from New York City

  cool. same. I'm in class drinking

  (646): View more from New York

  NOT OKAY

  (917): View more from New York City

  sorry for partying

  (646): View more from New York

  THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS

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  (646): congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism (917): cool. same. I'm in class drinking (646): NOT OKAY (917): sorry for partying (646): THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS http://tfl.nu/g2oy
  Replies (10) Good night (2738) Bad night (1048)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.

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  (417): Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently. http://tfl.nu/jfkc
  Replies (11) Good night (2402) Bad night (686)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Cant promise that last part. I won't die though

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  (410): Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots (1-410): Cant promise that last part. I won't die though http://tfl.nu/qr7s
  Replies (1) Good night (1233) Bad night (570)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend

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  (801): My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend http://tfl.nu/2vrs
  Replies (24) Good night (877) Bad night (1784)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....

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  (513): I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know..... http://tfl.nu/0xlu
  Replies (14) Good night (2478) Bad night (774)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!

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  (215): THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT! http://tfl.nu/gopq
  Replies (27) Good night (671) Bad night (1561)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...

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  (573): Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta... http://tfl.nu/9xfu
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (606)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.

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  (202): Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive. http://tfl.nu/gois
  Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (355)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning

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  (631): Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning http://tfl.nu/npjx
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (348)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  "Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."

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  (248): "Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas." http://tfl.nu/p9df
  Replies (3) Good night (271) Bad night (382)

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