Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  so you're single again?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  yea but it was worth it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face (1-334): so you're single again? (334): yea but it was worth it http://tfl.nu/2tzr
  Replies (46) Good night (4976) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A. http://tfl.nu/01sf
  Replies (43) Good night (1804) Bad night (5641)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk. http://tfl.nu/a04b
  Replies (13) Good night (5248) Bad night (1628)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope http://tfl.nu/brdy
  Replies (28) Good night (1168) Bad night (4585)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was. http://tfl.nu/20o3
  Replies (6) Good night (3670) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking http://tfl.nu/4jao
  Replies (5) Good night (978) Bad night (2715)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker http://tfl.nu/9orb
  Replies (6) Good night (2061) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees. http://tfl.nu/sibe
  Replies (4) Good night (1437) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss http://tfl.nu/ms4i
  Replies (9) Good night (795) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all.. http://tfl.nu/gmlb
  Replies (9) Good night (698) Bad night (1764)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description. http://tfl.nu/i5hv
  Replies (3) Good night (2196) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me? http://tfl.nu/mi92
  Replies (9) Good night (693) Bad night (4387)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall... http://tfl.nu/3zyu
  Replies (6) Good night (418) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed... http://tfl.nu/4mc8
  Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face http://tfl.nu/7t4e
  Replies (5) Good night (337) Bad night (701)

Randomize