took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I could fuck to npr.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??