Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway

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(443): View more from Maryland

he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it

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(240): View more from Maryland

We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You're earring is so big in my mouth

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(408): View more from California

you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.

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(541): View more from Oregon

She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.

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(313): View more from Michigan

She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.

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(562): View more from California

I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.

(831): View more from California

Thank you.

(562): View more from California

theres a video...

(831): View more from California

oh god.

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