Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need to sanitize my soul.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried