The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's Friday. Sex?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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