Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.

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  (417): Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls. http://tfl.nu/0cx7
  Replies (12) Good night (3269) Bad night (727)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow

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  (609): Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow (802): Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow http://tfl.nu/mba8
  Replies (2) Good night (1172) Bad night (2746)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  followup question: what if both somones were me?

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  (610): if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/? (610): followup question: what if both somones were me? http://tfl.nu/emdv
  Replies (18) Good night (854) Bad night (4748)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.

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  (917): No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list. http://tfl.nu/e3d0
  Replies (22) Good night (4877) Bad night (575)
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  (805): View more from California

  you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.

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  (805): you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out. http://tfl.nu/ndw1
  Replies (50) Good night (1585) Bad night (18510)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)

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  (660): My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :) http://tfl.nu/iyqj
  Replies (21) Good night (6011) Bad night (1605)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.

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  (+44): Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea. http://tfl.nu/w3ht
  Replies (6) Good night (2841) Bad night (818)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed

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  (330): He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed http://tfl.nu/pn7a
  Replies (4) Good night (1000) Bad night (553)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.

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  (231): My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/e8qk
  Replies (7) Good night (1757) Bad night (529)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."

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  (705): I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now." http://tfl.nu/lznt
  Replies (3) Good night (1810) Bad night (480)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.

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  (778): they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see. http://tfl.nu/hkkp
  Replies (10) Good night (1481) Bad night (691)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.

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  (717): I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/2l8e
  Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (568)
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  (714): View more from California

  I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina

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  (714): I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina http://tfl.nu/xr6a
  Replies (3) Good night (1009) Bad night (264)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith

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  (765): My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith http://tfl.nu/fwgv
  Replies (2) Good night (596) Bad night (248)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.

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  (513): Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough. http://tfl.nu/b714
  Replies (4) Good night (479) Bad night (346)

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