my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.