Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment