you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
