dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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