I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
