it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
