He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
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BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You made out with two different species that night
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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