She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
