yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
