Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I would fuck him just for his dog
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I did not marry a roomba.
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