Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
