Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
