Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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