Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she looked like the before picture.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
