it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The adults are the big ones right?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
