I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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