the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just blew my weed a kiss
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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