Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
