she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
