Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
