can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
