Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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