wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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