He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
