Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
