it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
