he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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