I think I just saw someone hide a body.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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