idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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