is your mom at the bar?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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