are you so shy because you have an std?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
why is half of my head shaved?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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