Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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