Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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