With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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