My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize