Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
