god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
BRING THE BAGELS
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
