It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
