No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize