I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Randomize
