Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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