mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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