Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize