We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
