It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
