I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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