If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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